Stacey, the Office Manager, seemed upset.
“Listen up guys, can I just have a moment of your time please?” she called over the annoying murmur of humans doing their jobs.
“Thank you. Now we have a situation that needs to be addressed, can everyone be in the boardroom in fifteen minutes.”
While many people had appointments and matters that required their urgent attention, nobody was prepared to offer an argument, choosing instead to hurriedly reschedule clients and delay deadlines, rather than offending Stacey.
Jack was happy with the distraction and used the fifteen minutes to make a coffee and slowly wander to the boardroom. He watched the others filter in begrudgingly as if they were aware of the madness to follow.
“Okay,” said Stacey, after she’d found her way to the head of the boardroom table. “I’m sure you’re all aware why we’re here.” She paused dramatically, as the sea of faces offered nothing but confusion.
“The kitchen,” said Stacey, “Is unacceptable.”
Another pause, and the faces transitioned to annoyance verging on bewilderment.
“This morning, I found crumbs all over the counter where someone had eaten toast and numerous dishes in the sink. I am not the cleaner, and if you want a kitchen, you need to take responsibility for it.”
Jack raised his hand.
“Yes Jack.”
“I couldn’t agree more. Could I also point out that the stationary cupboard is a disaster zone?”
“Thank you Jack, quite right. Everyone, please be sure to leave the cupboard tidy.”
“And the floors are covered in food,” Jack pointed out.
“From people eating at their desk?” asked Stacey.
“Correct,” said Jack. “I mean, is this a zoo?”
“From now on, nobody should be eating at their desk. Break times are there for a reason.”
“Perhaps,” said Jack. “Nobody should be allowed to eat in the office at all.”
“Well I think that may be a bit…”
“Actually,” said Jack, rising to his feet. “The best way to keep this place tidy would be if nobody wore shoes…even better, how about if no one stepped foot in the office at all? Imagine how clean and tidy this place would be?” Jack turned to the crowd. “Who’s with me? Let’s make tidiness a priority and go home so this office can get back to being tidy, untarnished by humans.”
The crowd cheered, and before Stacey could say anything, everyone was storming out of the boardroom. The only person left was Derek, the manager.
“Next time, just send an email.”