In the most recent episode of ‘Punk’d With Putin,’ Russian jets flew within metres of an American destroyer in the Baltic Sea. The Americans were innocently maintaining peace in Europe by chugging around the Baltic carrying a Polish helicopter.

The White House was quick to race home to mum and tell her about those guys picking on them with Press Secretary John Earnest saying, “This incident, you won’t be surprised to hear, is entirely inconsistent with the professional norms of militaries operating in proximity to each other in international waters.”

Or to translate that, “They’re not allowed to do it, it’s against the rules, naughty Ruskies.”

To this we can only assume Putin leaned back into his bear skin chair, took a sip of vodka, said “Gotcha,” in Russian, laughed then and changed the channel to reruns of Russian Friends, the one where Chandler gets arrested by the secret police for ‘inappropriate jokes about the government.’

Putin loves this stuff, he knows that he controls the agenda and the U.S. is powerless to stop him in that they can’t do anything more than talk. They’ve tried economic sanctions in the past and he just switched to another brand of deodorant and started eating local scallops. Putin may have manipulated more elections than the Bush family, but he’s also created an incredibly stable government at the Kremlin and in his best joke yet, has created a dictatorship without having to declare it and get the world all grumpy at him.

It seems that America’s stance on governments is that if you’re democratic we’re cool (unless you’re Saudi Arabia, in which case do whatever the %#@! you want.) Never mind how your elections are run or that you have human rights violations all over the place, including entering Buranovskiye Babushki in Eurovision (seriously Google that, right now.) But if you fly over our ships we’re going to give you a stern talking to and complain to the rest of the world that you’re picking on us.

And so the situation in the Baltic is reaching boring point, with absolutely nothing else happening other than a couple of Russian pilots laughing at the ‘silly Americans watching us pretend to bomb them.’