It’s a lovely shiny new week filled with hope and joy and coffee. You climb into the elevator and the feeling of dread increases, you start to cry and before you know it you’re in the fetal position screaming for your mum.
No, just me?
Regardless, no matter how much you love your job, if your office is the type of environment that creates feelings of anger and an urge to set things on fire rather than creativity and motivation then it’s time for a change. Here’s a pitch list to your boss on why you should ditch the office –

1.Air conditioning is a killer. I don’t have any scientific mumbo jumbo to back this up so I’m going to make up some key ‘facts.’
– The vents used in air conditioning are made of a cryination psyorphillic, the same material used to line the walls of haunted mental asylums in forests in the early 20th century.
– The air that comes from air conditioning units makes you less attractive to the opposite sex and renders useless all your medications.
– If you use air conditioning the terrorists win.
– I hate air conditioning (that one’s true)

2. Cafes, parks, the spare room at home. All of these are accessible thanks to mobile stuff and things and also they’re way better than being stuck in a depressing monotone hell hole like the one you’re sitting in right now.

3. If you really want creativity and energy, perhaps an environment that encourages…ummm…creativity and energy would be a good idea. You don’t stick a performing mouse in a black box, I assume. You don’t put a clown in a cubicle and tell him to make funny! Also you can’t kick a ball around in the office without being told off for breaking things. Which is where the idea for this post came from.